Faulted Growth

I never want to be the person I once was...
If that means five years ago or five minutes ago, I don't ever want to stay the same.
I am a person that has issues, there are some things I suck at, and there are some personality quirks I have that are not "socially acceptable". And I know it.
There are some things about me I have struggled to overcome sense I can remember. And there are some new faults I have found on my way through life. I am one messed up person.
I am scared about the future. I am frustrated with now. And I don't have the slightest clue about a thing.
But that is where it stops being about how jacked up I am, and I start seeing how great He is.
I am now because HE IS. And I will be because He always WILL BE.
I'm a new creation through Him.
The thing that gets me though is the fact that although I'm full of faults and issues, He still is calling me.
Many are called but few are willing.
It's not easy. We want the end result of a big dream, we want what everyone will see.
What no one sees is what weighs us down, the responsibility of peoples lives, and what we do with that responsibility when only God is looking.
Have that weight plus the fact you have to deal with your own crap on your shoulders. No wonder why people let go so easily.
But even knowing all of that... will you still say yes?
His promise remains true, but will we?
He gave His life so we could live ours. Neither one of those were or are going to be easy.
But is it really about you?
2 Timothy 2:11-13