I am my worst Enemy.
Sometimes we let the cry of emptiness be louder than the voice you need to hear.
We all receive wounds but will never ask for a band-aid.
We take the map but ignore the directions.
We light our candle but get too fixated on our flame.
We let our needs control us.
We shine our armor but neglect to sharpen our sword.
We tell of our dreams and goals but we forget God's divine plan.
We love only if we are loved back.
If we don't identify the need it will become a stronghold.
I am my worst Enemy
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Wrestling...
When I was a teenager me and my little brother loved to watch WWE. A show where these "huge greasy man beasts" would come out in tights and put on a performance of being a bad a**. They would then proceed to fight to see who was "king of the rock"... or who won the title. Every second of it was fake and pre-planned, and it was funny. All the drama was fake and stupid, the fighting part was intense, but in the end you knew it was all not real. The show in itself was all very shallow.
There is a similarity to the fake WWE guys and real wrestlers. They both train very hard to build up their strength. They train hard for the fight.
The difference between the two is very obvious. The fake wrestlers trained to put on a good show and are in control of everything until the very end, even the outcome.
The real wrestlers train as well as they can before hand, then once the match has started the outcome no longer is in their hands.
This is the difference between control and faith.
When the fight is not in our control anymore life becomes a little more real... a little more true.
The outcome of our life was never in our own hands. Until we decided to let go of it.
There is a similarity to the fake WWE guys and real wrestlers. They both train very hard to build up their strength. They train hard for the fight.
The difference between the two is very obvious. The fake wrestlers trained to put on a good show and are in control of everything until the very end, even the outcome.
The real wrestlers train as well as they can before hand, then once the match has started the outcome no longer is in their hands.
This is the difference between control and faith.
When the fight is not in our control anymore life becomes a little more real... a little more true.
The outcome of our life was never in our own hands. Until we decided to let go of it.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Ancient Paths
You ever stare at a sheet of paper and have no idea what to even start to write?
You ever turn on your Ipod wanting to just listen to music but you don't even know what you feel like listening too?
You ever get in your car and just drive with no place to go to?
Or sit with God for a minute because you need Him and you know it, but no words can even come out?
You ever been at a crossroad and have not known which way to turn?
Being in that moment, with no direction, with no way, no momentum... for a second we are lost.
For a moment your will is not yours anymore. For a moment we are thrown out of whack. We are forced to stop and ask for direction.
If we never loose our way then there is no reason to turn to God for His? But God created the way, didn't He? He is the way.
We have it all figured out, we know exactly where we are going until we hit a crossroad. Then we are humbled once again. Reality hits us. We need Him.
Truth is I don't know, truth is I don't know what the next step is, truth is... I need direction. And we all need it. We need Him. Funny how we still have the moments where we think we don't. If we didn't need Him, we would have never been lost.
"Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls." -Jer. 6:16
You ever turn on your Ipod wanting to just listen to music but you don't even know what you feel like listening too?
You ever get in your car and just drive with no place to go to?
Or sit with God for a minute because you need Him and you know it, but no words can even come out?
You ever been at a crossroad and have not known which way to turn?
Being in that moment, with no direction, with no way, no momentum... for a second we are lost.
For a moment your will is not yours anymore. For a moment we are thrown out of whack. We are forced to stop and ask for direction.
If we never loose our way then there is no reason to turn to God for His? But God created the way, didn't He? He is the way.
We have it all figured out, we know exactly where we are going until we hit a crossroad. Then we are humbled once again. Reality hits us. We need Him.
Truth is I don't know, truth is I don't know what the next step is, truth is... I need direction. And we all need it. We need Him. Funny how we still have the moments where we think we don't. If we didn't need Him, we would have never been lost.
"Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls." -Jer. 6:16
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
In Suffering...
Today I made myself sit. Just sit.
I just needed to hear God.
There are so many questions. So many questions I don't have the answer to... and probably wont. I'm tired. I'm not strong. I deal with some things totally wrong.
I am broken. I have missing pieces. And I have longings for things that seem will never come.
But am I missing it?
I had a pretty rude awakening a week ago... and it is making me stare that question deep in it's eyes.
Do I let my life define me OR do I define it?
I think on some of my past decisions and wonder if I made that decision or did I let life make it for me? Was I running from something? Was I hiding from something?
As soon as we refuse to feel, or deal with something we refuse the strength of God. We cannot run 10 miles without first feeling the pain of one mile. (Jer. 12:5) But scars and all, do we take what we have and LIVE?
Being numb to pain and being strong are two very different things. Refusing to deal with hurts and having strength are nowhere near the same.
Suffering produces perseverance... (Rom. 5:3-5)
Today I made myself sit. Just sit.
I just needed to hear God....
and He said it was okay to suffer. So I wept...
I just needed to hear God.
There are so many questions. So many questions I don't have the answer to... and probably wont. I'm tired. I'm not strong. I deal with some things totally wrong.
I am broken. I have missing pieces. And I have longings for things that seem will never come.
But am I missing it?
I had a pretty rude awakening a week ago... and it is making me stare that question deep in it's eyes.
Do I let my life define me OR do I define it?
I think on some of my past decisions and wonder if I made that decision or did I let life make it for me? Was I running from something? Was I hiding from something?
As soon as we refuse to feel, or deal with something we refuse the strength of God. We cannot run 10 miles without first feeling the pain of one mile. (Jer. 12:5) But scars and all, do we take what we have and LIVE?
Being numb to pain and being strong are two very different things. Refusing to deal with hurts and having strength are nowhere near the same.
Suffering produces perseverance... (Rom. 5:3-5)
Today I made myself sit. Just sit.
I just needed to hear God....
and He said it was okay to suffer. So I wept...
Friday, April 1, 2011
In Thunder
Ever sense I can remember, I have always loved storms. Thunder and lightning.
That is one thing I can remember me and my Dad doing when there was a storm off in the distance. We would stand out on the front porch or somewhere in the yard and count the seconds between the flash and the clap of thunder. I was never scared of how close it seemed to be getting, but I had an itch to chase after it when it started to disappear over the tree line. There was a connection with my Dad in those times that I will always remember.
About 3 years ago I was at a summer camp in Florida. It was a rough summer for one reason or another and one particular night I had lots of questions running through my mind. I was confused about relationships, myself, my future and if God was all He was cracked up to be. That night there was a tropical storm and it was pouring rain. I snuck out into the night and just sat overlooking the lake and watched the sky light up time and again. My tears fell down my face and mixed with the rain. I could not feel God near me and I wondered where He was. "Why am I here God? What am I doing?" Sometimes you get to a point where you wonder if it He is real. You wonder if life is just dragging you along with no intention in mind. You get to a spot where you forget where He brought you from, you forget how much He has shown you. And as loud as the thunder He said "I AM". Those simple words were like a wave of emotion and understanding. Soft but powerful, the words I AM said I wrote your path. I AM said I destined you for greatness. I AM said I am more than you can fathom. I AM made me feel a little like Job. There was a connection with my Dad that night that I will always remember. And after that night I don't think I could ever just let it disappear over the tree line.
To the children He is the Lamb. To the maturing He is the Lion. To the fully mature He is both Lion and the Lamb.
That is one thing I can remember me and my Dad doing when there was a storm off in the distance. We would stand out on the front porch or somewhere in the yard and count the seconds between the flash and the clap of thunder. I was never scared of how close it seemed to be getting, but I had an itch to chase after it when it started to disappear over the tree line. There was a connection with my Dad in those times that I will always remember.
About 3 years ago I was at a summer camp in Florida. It was a rough summer for one reason or another and one particular night I had lots of questions running through my mind. I was confused about relationships, myself, my future and if God was all He was cracked up to be. That night there was a tropical storm and it was pouring rain. I snuck out into the night and just sat overlooking the lake and watched the sky light up time and again. My tears fell down my face and mixed with the rain. I could not feel God near me and I wondered where He was. "Why am I here God? What am I doing?" Sometimes you get to a point where you wonder if it He is real. You wonder if life is just dragging you along with no intention in mind. You get to a spot where you forget where He brought you from, you forget how much He has shown you. And as loud as the thunder He said "I AM". Those simple words were like a wave of emotion and understanding. Soft but powerful, the words I AM said I wrote your path. I AM said I destined you for greatness. I AM said I am more than you can fathom. I AM made me feel a little like Job. There was a connection with my Dad that night that I will always remember. And after that night I don't think I could ever just let it disappear over the tree line.
To the children He is the Lamb. To the maturing He is the Lion. To the fully mature He is both Lion and the Lamb.
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