Fall

I close my eyes for only a second.  Waves of emotion and thought hit me, but it feels like more time went by than it takes a sunrise to set.
When darkness fills my eyelids I'm suddenly taken to a different place. I feel the cold crumbling rock pressed against my palms and cheek.
I know this wall, I built it, and I tend to it's every need.
I think back at all of the times it was in my way, every time I hit it out of frustration, and every time I built it back up to hide under it's dark shadow. This wall was apart of the cage I built for myself, and the box others help put me in. This wall keeps me...
It has kept me from finding joy.
It has kept me from the hurts of life.
It has kept me from really living.
It has kept me from giving of myself.
It has kept me from reaching...
My cheek starts to become numb and I tear away out of frustration. Panic sets in knowing that I have missed so much of the good God had for me, and knowing that it is now that I have to face this monstrosity. It was MY protection, and it held me back. It was MY peace and it caused me to feel trapped. I made sure it stayed standing.
It was all mine... but I am not my own.
Somehow I had made it to the ground, but I pull myself up and turn to face this hard place. A tear streams down my face and I take a determined breath.

I slowly open my eyes to the real world as if I was seeing light for the first time.
"It's time to let go, " I tell myself.
Freedom comes from simply letting the wall... fall.